Bumper Stickers

 

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I love cats...they taste just like chicken

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep

Montana --- At least our cows are sane!

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!

It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.

Wink, I'll do the rest!

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

Forget about World Peace ... Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

i souport publik edekasion

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.

 


 

EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Flashlight: A container for dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that somewhere, someone may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of SMART?

All generalizations are false, including this one.

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

 

 


 

        Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

        Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.

        We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?

        He who laughs last thinks slowest.

        Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

        It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

        Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

        Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

        I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

        All men are idiots, and I married their King.

        Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.

                Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

        Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

        Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

                Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

        I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

        Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

        Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students.

        Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.

        Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

        A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

        Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

        Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

        We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse.

        Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

                Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

        Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

        There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

        Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

        Keep honking...I'm reloading